blurredskylines

Reaching 22 and I thought I would've figured it out by now I've been running to catch up with All the life I've run away from Attached but disengaged Where's the authenticity in feeling? Disappointed and delusional Conclusions are within reach  but I can barely feel my face I am lightning that needs some grounding  I'm a storm of emotion  Wasted just like my potential  I'm paying the debts of people I've never met If I am to go around chasing rabbits  How long will it take to stumble down a rabbit hole? Seen by many misunderstood by all So I latibulate (quietly) Unsteady as a jammed-up gun Ready to shoot the wrong messenger at the right place and time As if I ever get better  Get it together  What if I woke up and I wasn't so desperate to run up that hill anymore? Clarity cuts deeper than the lies The closer we get to me  I'll turn into a different lie I'm the space in between widely optimistic and delusional  Nothing scares me more than my own m

 I just sit around waiting for you to come and save my day I'm a little girl that's left her pretense at home I don't think much about the bridges that I burned on my way out I just sometimes wish I wasn't so alone At the edge of any age, any city I've ever been to I hope one day I'll be able to sing the songs I've written Embrace me, stranger I'm getting tired  Somewhere in the way, I forgot I am my own somebody My strong girl act is cracking If I push myself to a breaking point Will there be a diamond waiting? Will there be anyone to hold back my hair? I'm a used cigarette end  just leave me in the cold Everything's on fire but I'll keep on flowing Is wanting to get better ever gonna be enough?

His bubble 'round my wrist I said: "Don't get too attached" Something new  just got out of something blue No white picket fence  something more exciting We're on borrowed time but come on over leave your pretense at home Tell me all your past Tell me all about your future Who can even afford to give a damn  what people say I'll make the bad decisions You make up the excuses Love runs dry We both let all the good ones go Never long enough to be in love  We only started sleeping just the other week  Just hold onto me for now  'cause you make my head spin  to the sound of your sweet nothings We bonded over  lovers that we've loved  and left  haunted wondering "How long will it take you to regret me too?" "How long will it take to make a good thing bad?" It's so easy to mistake a mirror for a soulmate just put me on you Say I'm your favorite  Let's roll, we're rolling stones What's your game? I'll never take a ri

 Whatever's the vibe, I'm drowning in it  Nobody to blame but myself So are all the good times gone? It's alright, I'll just keep on hyperventilating on the bathroom floor A breakdown just to bow down  Not getting any wiser, Simply clinging onto whatever's left of my spine but I'm a loose bolt  and there's no complete machine Just like a cherry blossom  I look so pretty  but I'll be gone too soon  Will I ever have the time to enjoy it all? Freak out for another breakthrough  Drag myself through another day I'm the main attraction  Took a nosedive  and panicked in the bathroom  A little black dress  Such a big mess But I look divine  Maybe one day we'll be happy for a change Empty, impatiently anticipating  Dressed down like it's my birthday It's the best version you can get  Never a friend, just networking Completely desperate for a connection  But I'm making it fashion So sexy on command  Sell yourself to get what you want Glitter al

I'm just like everybody else I sell myself for the high  I'm not playing,  unless there's something in it for me But is the high worth the pain? 'cause in the end, Any good... It never lasts Love and abuse  It's the same Just different words Living in sweet denial Everything is just another number  Dress me up,  Get me high and watch me die  You can get everything you want  So why try for anything? Do I have the time to fall in love? Do I even bother? Once I get what I want  I won't even want it anymore  Inside, waiting for the sun,  With sunglasses on my eyes Some screws we don't make much sense  But you can't be lost, if you never knew where you were headed I still question every human  That'd look me straight up in the eyes Everybody's guilty until proven otherwise 'Cause every good Has come with a backfire  Anger was a weakness Now it's the only strength that I got So now, I don't stand for anything  I'm in permanent grumbling

 Curiosity used to bug me all the time Too tired to learn on my own I begrudged and hang up the phone  My tv killed my imagination no inspiration, no motivation  lying in bed  living dead It's not sloth, 'cause I tried but... I couldn't find anything to satisfy  I am losing my mind  Is this just a state of mind  if it happens all the time? Sex is fine, just another activity to kill time Another enterprise in the dopamine free line Stuck in my mind, another night that I'll just get covered in slime An observer of my own life An empty chest for a heavy heart  I am numb, completely neutral Searching for a feeling Comfortably uncomfortable  'cause I can run but I can't hide  No worry, no hope Just survival mode I'm simply searching for a feeling  Have I already burnt-out? Both indifferent and hopeful Just like a strong acid in water  I'll dissociate.