Latibulate

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Reaching 22 and I thought I would've figured it out by now

I've been running to catch up with

All the life I've run away from

Attached but disengaged

Where's the authenticity in feeling?


Disappointed and delusional

Conclusions are within reach 

but I can barely feel my face

I am lightning that needs some grounding 


I'm a storm of emotion 

Wasted just like my potential 

I'm paying the debts of people I've never met

If I am to go around chasing rabbits 

How long will it take to stumble down a rabbit hole?


Seen by many

misunderstood by all

So I latibulate (quietly)

Unsteady as a jammed-up gun

Ready to shoot the wrong messenger

at the right place and time


As if I ever get better 

Get it together 

What if I woke up and

I wasn't so desperate to run up that hill anymore?


Clarity cuts deeper than the lies

The closer we get to me 

I'll turn into a different lie

I'm the space in between

widely optimistic and delusional 

Nothing scares me more than my own mind

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